


Cupid

by marzichan



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: AU, M/M, Superstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-01 09:20:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/354890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marzichan/pseuds/marzichan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake builds a love-causing ray-gun with Dirk Strider in mind. Superstuck AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Superstuck is a Homestuck AU based in a world where supervillains and superheroes are a common sight. In this AU, Jake is both a supervillain called General Terror and the son of the infamous Lord English. You can find out more by visiting [this page.](http://generalterror.tumblr.com/faq) This story was originally posted [here](http://generalterror.tumblr.com/post/15692021498/noncanon-it-seemed-like-an-amazing-idea-at-the) on Tumblr.

It seemed like an amazing idea at the time. Vriska forbade you from building another Ceruleanifiying Laser, yes, but she said nothing about a Romancification Ray! You built your newest gadget with The Tailorbird in mind, a devious smirk on your lips whenever you imagined the humiliation you would soon be causing him.

He’s always been a thorn in your side, embarrassing you, making fun of you, and you’ve had enough! This will be your revenge. You’ve designed the gun to make the target fall in love with the first person they see after being blasted by your diabolical weapon. What if he sees some doddering old lady and ends up trailing her like a smitten fool, you and your plans forgotten? The very thought makes you chortle.

And it all plays out smoothly enough. You threaten to rob a bank, he shows up being his usual dickprince self, and then zap! You fire the gun at him. Unfortunately, something must have been off, because the gun practically tears itself apart in your hand, smoking wildly.

You cough and choke, dropping the busted weapon. Oh dear, this wasn’t supposed to happen. The smoke begins to clear, and you seen your nemesis sprawled on the ground a few feet away.

He doesn’t move, and due to the remaining smoke hazing your view you can’t even tell if he’s breathing. Your heart skips a beat at the realization he might not be. “Tailorbird?” You hurry over, your petty feud temporarily forgotten out of worry that you might’ve just accidentally killed your rival. You weren’t trying to! You just wanted to make his life hell, not actually _murder_ him.

“Are you okay, old chap? Tailorbird? Say something!” You nudge him with your boot, panicking. It doesn’t even occur to you that maybe it might be a bad idea to stand right over someone who just got hit with a love ray.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A continuation from Dirk's perspective written by Tumblr user pavaal can be found [here](http://the-tailorbird.tumblr.com/post/15741927807/generalterror-it-seemed-like-an-amazing-idea). Alternatively, [this](http://paste.plurk.com/show/7Q24CDC7FKMDaKwSudxE/) is easier on the eyes. Read before continuing!

Confound it, can he not just LET GO of your ha— Oh. _Hello_ there.

You go from exasperated to stunned, hardly expecting your nemesis to suddenly whip off his shades and unleash his full Strider charm onto your poor unsuspecting self. In fact, you don’t think you even knew the true meaning of the words ‘Strider charm’ until he looked at you without those blasted tinted goggles in the way. And that smile? Gadzooks, you feel like someone just turned the thermostat up too high, which is a ridiculous thought because you’re currently standing in the middle of the street. There’s no thermostat to be had, here, and global warming surely isn’t to blame for the blush creeping across your cheeks.

“As legit as a counterfeit bill, I’d say!” You counter, weakly, but the quip is admittedly far from your best. He still hasn’t relinquished his grip on your hand, and you find yourself loosening your collar with your remaining free hand. Unfortunately, tugging the black cloth around your neck downward does little to relieve how uncomfortably warm you suddenly feel. Where’s a strong cold breeze when you need it?

You’ve never seen his face entirely bare before, not even when you cornered him off-duty at that record shop he often frequents. Despite being out of costume at the time, he still hid behind a mask, looking down his nose at you from behind a pair of dark sunglasses. It was so infuriating to be limited to what you could read from his body language (answer: not much) since there is little-to-no way to decipher his emotions from his face alone. For christ-kicking sake, _Otto_ is easier to figure out than his human counterpart, and his face is made out of metal.

However, you’re not having any trouble reading his emotions now; you just aren’t sure if you can trust what you see. And wait, why are you getting flustered about this anyway? Sure, originally you intended for him to fall in love with someone _else_ , but this can work all the same!

You get to personally break his heart.

“If you aren’t suffering in my presence at all times, I suppose that makes me a terrible nemesis.” You give up trying to free your hand, instead adopting what you believe to be a coy expression. The truth is that you look more like a mischievous little kid than a suave casanova. Your buck teeth don’t help that impression either. “Perhaps I should give up my quest to bring you misery? With such an affable personality as my own it may be easier to entreat you to join my side than merely continue this feud. What do you say to forming an alliance with me? English and Strider, together, thick as thieves—sometimes literally. Thieves, that is. Not thick, neither of us is hefty enough to be considered such.”

Oh yeah, you are totally smooth.


End file.
